Monday, September 7, 2009

The Day from Niagara Falls

Last Thursday started out as a normal day. I was headed out the door to teach music to 8 of my favorite students. Briefcase? Check. Water bottle? Check. Cutest outfit ever? Check.

That was probably my mistake. Wearing the cutest outfit ever was like saying I had it all together. And fate wasn’t going to let me fool anyone.

I got in the car, turned into my students’ neighborhood, and all of the sudden realized Niagara Falls had somehow found its way into my car and dumped all of its contents onto my butt.

Only… as I turned… I saw again. It wasn’t Niagara Falls. It was my water bottle. And I was sitting in all of its water.

Little rivers ran down my legs.

Cheer up, I told myself. Things could be worse.

As I rounded the corner I saw it: a complete car search. Maybe I’ll be lucky and the guard will wave me on, I thought. After all, that does happen. Once every three years.

“We’ll need to search your car, Ma’am,” he said as I handed him my license.

I’m not sure how I did what I did next. Somehow I got out of the car. Backwards. Then I scooted around and opened each door with my rear end facing the car. This, of course, did not look at all suspicious.

Then I got to the trunk.

Oh good, I thought. No one can see my back-side from back here. I’ll use this moment to appear normal and turn my back away from the car.

As I turned to open the trunk, I heard it. At first it was a subtle roar, then it grew loud. I looked over my shoulder just in time to see the 15-passenger van full of teenagers laughing and pointing. At my wet skirt.

This is a true story.

When I finally made it through the checkpoint, I comforted myself with these words: BJ, the worst part of your day is over.

I repeated these words and this story to the parents of my students. Some of them believed them. Some of them offered me towels. Some of them offered me the number of a good psychologist. One of them offered to cheer me up.

“Don’t worry,” she said, “it could be worse.”

“Oh?” I said. “Humor me.”

“I have a friend with a 2nd grader and a 3-year-old,” she said.


“She just found out she’s pregnant.”

“Oh. Bad day, huh?”

“With triplets.”

Mark it down. This may be the first successful attempt to cheer me on a day that takes a turn for the worst.

Briefcase? Check.
Water bottle? Check.
Cutest outfit ever? Check.
Triplets? Ummm… with the day I had, I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Question for 2Day: What's the worst day you've ever had?


Arianna said...

That must have been embarrassing, but you gotta admit; that's pretty funny ;) Wow, I've had a lot of bad days... like the time my family single-handedly ruined (and I do mean ruined) an entire, completely new parking lot on accident (it's a funny story now, but it definitely wasn't at the time!). Yeah, I know. How is that even possible? LOL :P

BJ Hamrick said...

Yeah... I was pretty much laughing the whole time. It was an insane day.

I've done the parking lot thing! I drove across a bunch of wet paint one time. The construction guy yelled at me. It was a lil embarrassing.

Arianna said...

LOL. Oh, not a good day! I bet he was mad!
In my family's case though, we completely crushed the parking lot cement. We pulled into this church where we had a meeting... they had just put in a brand new parking lot but I guess there were a few inches of water underneath so the cement didn't harden. Anyway, our 40-foot moter home was too heavy for the parking lot, so it crushed the cement into a kazillion pieces... whoops ;)

Debra said...

Oh, I can relate. I can't tell you the number of times I've tripped, fall or otherwise just embarrassed myself or someone I was with, lol.

Once I burned the tip of my nose by trying to sniff a candle that was lit. I have no clue why I was so eager to sniff the candle but I walked around with a nose that looked like Rudolph's for a bit.

Love your posts as always. :)


BJ Hamrick said...

Arianna, that's hilarious! You should do a blog post about that. It would really crack people up!

Debra, wow! The burned nose sounds just like me. LOL! I love your stories, girl. You crack me up.

I know all about waiting--for the right guy, for high school to end, for my boobs to come in (two out of three ain't bad).

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