Thursday, September 24, 2009

Admit it. You missed me.

OK. So I've been absent lately. The truth is, I've been working on some new chapters for the current book project. Just to make you worry about me, it's all about vampires:

Letting Go/The Vampire

I’m ashamed to admit this, but I’m a vampire. I’m not sure how it happened, but I think it was mostly about the money. My parents said, “You need to stop mooching and pay for your own cell phone”, and I said, “What better way to make some money than to suck blood?”

Not exactly what the parents had in mind.

After a few classes at the local community college, I signed a piece of paper that said I wouldn’t draw anyone’s blood unnecessarily. Also that I would donate both my lungs to the hospital if I caused any lawsuits. Then a doctor handed me a needle and told me to get to work. (Seriously – that’s about all that’s required. A few classes and a needle. It’s kind of frightening.)

About a week into the whole vampire thing I realized: no one loves the woman with the needle. No one wants to see her. No one cares that the doctor sent her for an important reason.

Despite the general disrespect, I was shocked when one of my patients chose to completely ignore me. You’ve got to be kidding, I thought. I know I’m not the world’s favorite person, but to act like I don’t exist?

I banged on the patient’s door. Hospital policy – I had to let her know I was there. A soft rap, a loud thump, then little screams of, “Hello Mrs. Campbell! I’m here to draw your blood!”

Eventually I gave up the verbal warning and flung open the door. I’d given Mrs. Campbell her

chance at privacy...

To continue, you may purchase the book at your convenience. When it becomes available, that is...


Debra said...

That's not right! You can't just tease us then not share the rest of the story. I hope you haven't been shopping your proposal around in the same manner. ;)


banderclip said...

oooh, sounds interesting. i want to read your book! i must admit i'm not a huge fan of the lady who takes my blood at the doctor's office...but at least she is a nice conversationalist.

BJ Hamrick said...

Debra - Of course that's how to shop a proposal. Don't you know you're supposed to keep everything a secret until after the wedding? Oh. You meant the other type of proposal...

Christy - I want to read my book too! I can't wait to show it to you guys. And I hear ya on the vampire... I don't think anyone's a fan. Sad for me.

I know all about waiting--for the right guy, for high school to end, for my boobs to come in (two out of three ain't bad).

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