Beyond Repair

One of these days – just one of these days – I am going to break something and it is going to stay broken.

There will be no drills. No saws. No sticking of butter knives down the vacuum hose to unclog it. (If I invite you to my house for dinner – don’t worry. It was not the knife we usually give our guests. Was it?)

This is the only problem with being married to an engineer. He can fix anything. In fact, he can fix anything before I break it.

Just last week I was well on my way to busting the lint filter on the dryer. “Oh here, Babe, let me fix that,” he said. “It looks like we won’t be able to do laundry any time soon if I don’t.”

My point exactly.

This creates a problem in our communication. As I talked with my girlfriends about it, I learned that they are experiencing this same situation.

For this reason, I’d like to decode what girls really mean when they say something is broken.

* “Babe, the vacuum is broken.”
Interpret: “Fix it next week, but not too soon. Unless you plan to use it before I do.”

* “Babe, the oven is broken.”
Interpret: “I’d like to go out to dinner tonight. The oven will miraculously heal itself tomorrow. Or next week.”

* “Babe, the telephone is broken.”
Interpret: "Fix it YESTERDAY."

As you can see, this communication thing can be tricky when it comes to girls. If all else fails, you can always ask us what we REALLY mean by what we say.

But just be prepared that if you do ask that question, something may become broken beyond repair.