Four Years...

They say “that feeling” wears off after a few years of marriage, but I still get it every time you walk in the door. Looking into your eyes, I know you’ve come home to me. Not just with your body, but also with your heart.

There’s no vacant stare. No sitting down to the evening news. No mindlessly surfing the Internet. {We save that for later.}

You sit down to know me… to ask what’s going on in my heart. Your day has been long, but the last thing you think of is yourself.

You listen but you do not try to fix.

After five years of seeking my heart, it seems you’d have learned all you want to know. It isn’t entirely pretty. There are things I wish I didn’t have to tell you. Fears and dreams so out-of-this-world that anyone else would think I was insane.

There are also hard times. Times of sobbing because the pregnancy test once again only showed one line. Times of hand-holding as we said goodbye to someone we loved. Times of gray-hair-sprouting because the decimal point on the bank account landed in the wrong place.

Through it all… you pursue.

My prayer for you is that you feel as treasured and pursued as you make me feel. That every day you see that expectancy in my eyes – the emotion that says I want to know you. -- however you are. My prayer is that you will feel how you’ve made me feel every day of the past five years – accepted, utterly safe, and free to be me.

I love you, and I want you to know… it takes my breath away.