Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Recliner

I grew up watching Disney cartoons where beach chairs collapsed on Goofy. I thought this was funny… until last Saturday.

All I wanted was a recliner. Plain. Simple. Italian leather. $100. (I wasn’t asking for much.) The man online told me he had exactly what I needed. The photo he posted showed me he did. (Because we all know the Internet never lies.)

So with great excitement my boy and I ventured on the one hour drive to pick up my beautiful new chair.

Hello. Reality check. No one told us we were going to need a handgun.

I’m going to be honest here. I would have felt safer hiking the North Korean border.

To quote Dougray Scott, “Stay aloft, madam – there are gangs afoot!”

When we miraculously made it safely inside the house, I saw it – the recliner. My heart skipped a beat. Or two. Or maybe three. OK, I’m pretty sure I passed out for five minutes.

It was beautiful. Just like the photo. Except for the fact that the arm was falling off. The Italian leather was plastic. And the realization of why the man called it a “recliner” – the chair did not know how to do anything else.

My boy, full of tact, wandered around and politely said, “I’m not quite sure this is what we were looking for.”

I, also full of tact, took one look and said, “You’re a dirty liar Mr. Internet Man.”

At which point DLMIM said, “Make me an offer. I need $100.” As if we were going to offer more than the original asking price.

What ensued was one very awkward moment followed by a mad dash to the car and a narrow escape with our lives.

Which I guess, when it comes down to it, is better than Goofy’s fate with the chair…

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BJ Hamrick is a local writer who can be reached at writebrained@gmail.com, www.bjhamrick.com, or www.facebook.com/bjhamrick -- unless she's looking for recliners online.

3 comments:

Mia said...

LOL, B.J.! I have a few of those stories of my own :) Darn those Dirty Liar Mr. Internet Men ;)

banderclip said...

Yikes! Sounds awkward...we've done a few sales transactions online like that, but thankfully we didn't have to turn them down. :D Hope you find a recliner that fits your criteria!

BJ Hamrick said...

Mia - Thanks for your comment!

Christy - Haha... very awkward. Bet you'll think twice before the next Internet transaction, eh? ;)

I know all about waiting--for the right guy, for high school to end, for my boobs to come in (two out of three ain't bad).


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