Thursday, December 3, 2009

Married to an Addict

I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating: I married St. Nicholas’ clone, minus the pudge and white beard.

The boy has some serious Christmas cheer issues. About three seconds after he finishes his Easter candy, he starts to sing Jingle Bells. It takes all my strength to keep him from putting up the Christmas tree before the fourth of July.

Some of you are concerned now. You recognize these symptoms. Someone you know may also be a clone of Father Christmas. How can you be sure?

Here are several signs. If your loved one:

1) Has very pointy shoes (This one is tough – it could also mean your partner is actually the wicked witch of the West)
2) Prefers to live in Maine or anywhere else that resembles the North Pole
3) Has a collection of over 300 Christmas DVD’s (299 is considered borderline)
4) Is disappointed when he or she learns that volunteering as a “candy striper” at the hospital doesn’t involve canes

This list is by no means comprehensive, but should give you a pretty good clue about your loved one. Be warned, though: if you discover he or she is addicted to Christmas, there are crazy side effects.

For instance, you might just be happy for the rest of your life.

B.J. Hamrick is a local writer who can be reached at,, or -- unless she's taking a little visit to
the North Pole.


banderclip said...

aw, this is funny and sweet at the same time. :) I am the crazy Christmas person in our family, but my husband puts up with it. :D Hope you have a very wonderful Christmas season with your Santa clone husband. :D

Sheila said...

Awww!!! :-D

BJ Hamrick said...

Chirsty - We need all the Christmas cheer we can get - I wish I was more like that! Merry Christmas :D

Shelia - Thanks! :)

The Dreamer said...

haha! <3

BJ Hamrick said...

Thanks, Shaunie! :)

I know all about waiting--for the right guy, for high school to end, for my boobs to come in (two out of three ain't bad).

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