Monday, August 10, 2009

The Secret Place

There's a place nestled in the blue ridge mountains... a place no one else knows about. It's my secret place.

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD...

It is my waiting place... and also my crying place.

I waited [not so] patiently for the LORD...

I've run to that place for 10 years now. One morning in particular, though, stands out in my mind.

Life felt devastating... no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pull myself out of the feelings of despair.

Years of chronic illness... lost friends... never having the chance to say goodbye.

I sat in that secret place... wanting desperately to hear from God... but somehow afraid of what He would say should He choose to speak.

My lack of faith felt like an indictment against myself. One I created. One I deserved.

I opened my Bible, unsure of what I would find. That day my devotions called for Psalm 40.

These are the words I read:

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

As I looked down at my feet, I was astounded to see...

I was standing on a rock.

I've turned to that moment again today.

Life has felt more like mud and mire lately. Less like firm rock under my feet. So many things are uncertain. The economy. Jobs. Friends. Relocations.

And so I return to my secret place. Not physically... although I long to be there. Emotionally I retreat... and I stand on that rock... hoping that my heart will grasp the concept again. By faith.

This mud and mire will come to an end.

I cannot make it go away. It is His choice when He will reach down and pull me out. But for now, I will keep my eyes fixed on the one thing that stands firm: my rock, My Lord Jesus Christ.

Question for 2Day:
What's your "secret place"?

2 comments:

Elaina M. Avalos said...

I have a few secret places. One is a trail in Eastern NC called the Neusiok. The start of the trail was not far from where I lived for a long time. But I would wander off the trail and walk the beach along the Neuse river as far as possible. It was quiet and rarely did I encounter another person.

The other was at the beach near Ft. Macon. I've spent long hours walking that beach.

It's so good to have places like that where we can go to hear nothing but his voice.

By the way, my "captcha" is "bless." How cool is that? Blessings,
Elaina

BJ Hamrick said...

That's awesome, Elaina. I love secret places. And I love hearing that other people (especially writers) have them too. Bless you too!

I know all about waiting--for the right guy, for high school to end, for my boobs to come in (two out of three ain't bad).


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