Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Wednesday's Post: Brought to you by Old Folks

Today as I was driving past the community center, I couldn't help but notice the crowd of old folks mobbing the front door. The journalist in me had questions.

Why were they there? What were they doing?

Either the weather channel had predicted a storm and the old folks mistook the building for a grocery store where they could buy all the milk and eggs, or Bill Gaither was there in concert.

Imagine my surprise when I learned the old folks were actually there, as one kind man who offered to run over my foot with his wheelchair after I told him I was a journalist said, "To exercise our constitutional rights".

I almost exercised my constitutional right to show him how my foot felt afterwards, but in the name of professionalism I just moved to my next interviewee.

"Why are you here?" I asked her.

"I've been trying to figure that out my whole life, Hon," she said in a true smart-aleck tone.

"Did you vote for Obama or McCain?" I asked sweetly.

"What are you?" she asked, "Four years old? What do you know about my constitutional rights?"

Clearly my interviews were not going well. If the exit-polling folks had as much luck as me, their best guess would be that George Washington had been reelected.

This would be a completely wasted trip unless I could figure out some way to get to the front of the line and vote. Then my time spent would not be in vain.

I thought for a moment then cleared my throat.

"Excuse me," I said loudly. "Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement."

The room was silent.

"Bill Gaither just set up his band in the next room. There's a free concert."

Mission accomplished.

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I know all about waiting--for the right guy, for high school to end, for my boobs to come in (two out of three ain't bad).


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